A wonderful crack fic
by A Bleach-Drinking Hetalian
Summary: A small rp between bored people, TURNED INTO A STORY! Pairings are USxUk, KoreaxChina, LithuaniaxBelarus, RussiaxLatvia, AusxHun,and JapanxHong Kong. I think that covers everything! Pure crack! With Genderbending Funnier than the summery, by far! xD


Russia turns to you, the reader. You eagerly watch what he has to say, scared shitless.

"Did you hear about the recent Volcanic activity in Iceland, and earthquake in China?"

The reader sighs. "I heard about the volcano, but not the earthquake . . . . . I need to get out more." She sweatdrops.

"That is ok." Russia smiles, and then pats the readers back. "But you know now, da?"

The reader tears up. " I feel sorry for poor China..".

Belarus springs up from somewhere behind her brother, scaring the begeebers out of him. "I UNDERSTAND NII-CHAN!!!! " Then she started chanting, " Шлюб. . . Шлюб. . . . выйсці за мяне замуж НИИ-сан!!" (Marriage . . . Marriage . . . Marry Me NII-SAN!!)

Russia bursts into tears. "Nyet!! Nyet nyet nyet!!" (No! No no no!)

"Я никогда не буду жениться вы, Беларусь!!" (I will never marry you, Belarus!!) He starts Running away, crying.

Belarus runs after him at a much faster speed. "Вярнуцца сюды НИИ-SAN! Мы павінны стаць адзін!" (COME ACK HERE NII-SAN!! WE MUST BECOME ONE!!)

Russia pulls Lithuania out of somewhere, and throws him at Belarus, running even farther away.

"Я даю вам мой любимчика для того чтобы держать вас многодельно. Теперь угодите, ОСТАНОВИТЕ ПОПРОБОВАТЬ ПОЛУЧИТЬ, что МЕНЯ ПОЖЕНИТЬСЯ ВЫ!!!" (I give you my pet to keep you busy. Now please, STOP TRYING TO GET ME TO MARRY YOU!!!) He finally runs away out of Belarus's vision.

Lithuania sits on top of Belarus, frightened of this experience. "Sveikinimai Baltarusijoje. . . ". (Greetings Belarus . . . .) he says in shaky Lithuanian.

(OOC MOMENT . . . . NOW!)

"вам так міла~!" (you're so cute~!)

Belarus sits up and hugs Lithuania sweetly, squealing.

Lithuania smiled a sunshiny happy smile. "Baltarusija yra so cute!!!" (Belarus is so cute!!)

Belarus blushes, looking up at him. "R-really?.." blush, then hugs more.

"Я ВЕДАЮ LETS ЁСЬЦЬ Секс!" (I KNOW LETS HAVE S*X!)

Lithuania accepts this."Gerai!" (ok)

The reader sweatdrops.

-------

*next morning*

They both in bed, smoking.

Lithuania speaks first. "Tai buvo įdomus, ne?" (That was fun, no?)

"Я думаю. . . . ." she huggles Liet, who huggles back. (I guess. . . . .)

Russia walks in.

Le gasp from reader!!

A slightly disturbed look from Russia!

"Что вы делаете?!?!" (what are you two doing?!?!)

-------

Russia stares for a minute.

Russia smiles like the devil. " Литва, моя очередь!" (Lithuania, my turn!!)

He jumps onto the bed, knocking Belarus off in a comical way, with her taking half of the covers with her.

Belarus stands, now magically in full clothing. She speaks, angry. " Ён мой, сука!"(He's mine, B***h!!)

She knocks Russia off the bed, holding up her knife.

". . . ką? Ummm. . . . klaidos Grįžti Bella!" (what? ummm err go Bella!) He pulled up a Belarusian flag and waved it in the air broadly.

Belarus smirked at her brother. "Адмовіцца ад НИИ-Сан -! Ён любіць мяне, а не вы!" (Give up nii-san! He likes me, not you!)

Russia held up his pie to rival her knife."НИКОГДА не сестра! Я видела его впервые!" (NEVER sister!! I SAW HIM FIRST!)

Lithuania stopped waving the flag for a moment. "Please don't kovoti per mane.." (Please do not fight over me...) he said meekly.

Belarus looks over. Then she suggested, "Брат, дастаткова пра яго як пра нас ..." (Brother, there IS enough of him for the both of us..)

Russia smiled, making the temperature drop at least thirty degrees.  
( ^ J ^)  
"Да, моя дорогая сестра ..."  
(Yes, my dear sister..)

Both Russia and Belarus start creeping over.

Lithuania screams, "MEEP!!!!"

"LIETUVOJE! man padėti, kaip jūs visada daryti Dammit! Rusijos oszukiwanie apie ju--" Lithuania screams, and then is pounced by Belarus and Russia. (POLAND! help me like you always do DAMMIT! errrr . . . china! Russia's cheating on yo-- )

China walks in for no reason.  
"正在发生的事情，阿鲁？"(what is happening, aru?) He says.

He looks at the scene before him. Then he shouts, "的的-俄罗斯？！完蛋了 !是通过!"(R-RUSSIA?! THATS IT! WERE THROUGH!) and starts running away.

"не Китай! вернуться, пожалуйста!" (No china! come back, please!) Russia says, falling, and then landing on the ground.

____

*at China's house*

"해달라고 울기의 aniki, 그가 충분히 당신을 존경 않았다. 당신이해야가 빨리 그애를 차버." (don't cry aniki, he didn't respect you enough. you should of dumped him sooner) Korea says, trying to stay positive.

Hong Kong speaks up quietly. "我同意韓國（一次）。你要為他好。" (I agree with Korea (for once). You were to good for him.)

China looks up, sadness on his features. " 不，我的兄弟，他是唯一一個我 aru....."(No, my brothers, he was the only one for me aru......)

Korea falls to his knees. "NOOOOO!!내 aniki 의해 tainted 그 러시아!"(my aniki has been tainted by that Russian!!)  
China looks down at Korea and sniffles. "A-aru..."

Korea stands back up and hugs China. " 당신의 가슴이 나에게 항상 속해 있습니다!!" (Your breasts are belong to me, always!!!)  
Hong Kong falls asleep, bored.

Then China falls asleep, too. Korea turns to Hong Kong.

"난 ~ 알아요! 홍콩! 마법의 그 무서운 러시아어 내 aniki 취소 사랑을 나누는 데 사용할 수있는 사람을 찾으러 가자 수 있습니다! . . . 잠깐 자고 있니? 아무리! 내가 일본을 도와 받으러 갈께요 ~" (I KNOW~! Hong Kong! Let's go get someone who can use magic to make my aniki un-love that scary Russian! . . . wait are you asleep? No matter! I'll go get Japan to help me~) Korea leaves, to Japan's house.

____

*at Japan's house*

Korea waits for Japan to walk in his garden, hiding.

When Japan comes out, he gropes him from behind, saying, "일본 ~! 난 당신이 필요 ~" (JAPAN~! I NEED YOU~)

Japan blushes, but doesn't panic, because he's used to it. "何が韓国に何ですか？ "(What is it Korea?)

Korea waves his arms around while explaining. "그 무서운 러시아 중국 님의 마음을 아프게! 나는 그래서 당신이 마법 그의 마음은 깨진 취소하게 사용할 수있는 누군가를 찾아야 해! 좀 도와 줄래?" (That scary Russian broke China's heart! So I need you to find someone who can use magic to make his heart un-broken! Can you help? )

Japan transforms into his ninja outfit. Then he

"それは中国の場合は、私はあなたを助ける。誰が助けることができるかもしれない知っている..."(If it is for china, then I will help you. I know someone who might be able to help..)

Korea smiles, jumping around happily. " Da-Ze!!" then he follows Japan, trying to grope him most of the way there.

___

Japan mentally prepares himself for this.

England opens his door. "What the bloody hell do you want??" He yells.

" Forgive me, Igirisu." Japan says, bowing, and is still in ninja garb-

England looks very confused. " WTBF?"

Japan jabs England in the forehead. " I SUMMON THE BRITTANIA ANGEL!" Then he throws potato at Korea.

Suddenly, there's a puff of smoke andddddd~  
". . . . . WHY THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU DO THAT?!" England screams, regretting that his uniform was a tiny toga.

"私はイングランド、私は残念、私はそれをしなければならなかった言ったように。しかし、中国が押されて、彼は幸せになる必要があります。そこで、ここで彼を助けるために1つをmeraclesを使用ようになりました"。 (Like I said England, I am sorry that I had to do that. But China is depressed and he needs to be happy. So we came here to use one of your miracles to help him.)

Korea comes over, now having retrieved the potato. Then he gives it back to Japan. "와우! 잉글랜드 왜 저렇게 입었지? 이게 당신은 할로윈 전화인가요? 하지만 스프링 시간이 지금 다 - '제'를 밤은?" (Whoa! England why are you dressed up like that? Is this what you call Halloween? But isn't it spring time right now da-ze?)

England huffs. "Ok. I'll do one but then you have to go. My siblings are here and they'll tease me to no end if they see me like this."

Scotland laughs silently. "Nyek nyek nyek, the teasing has already started!!!"

Then she and all of the older brothers silently make fun of England.

Japan apologizes, then makes his request. : "私は中国がロシアで、オハイオ州ブリタニアエンジェルください取得したいと思います。" (I wish for China to get over Russia, oh Brittania Angel.) Then he bows again.

Korea thinks a moment, then a light bulb appears above his head, signifying his idea. "Hmmmm... 나는 내 aniki 여자로 변신할 버렸으면 좋겠어! 그리고 나와 결혼해! (I wish that my aniki would turn into a girl! And marry me!)

America pops out of nowhere. "That sounds fun!! I wanna be a girl, too!" He smiles stupidly, making England feel really self-conchase.

Le gasp again, from all but America, who remains an idiot.

". . . 당신은 천사가 한국에서, 다 - '제'를 발명 알고 있었나요??" (Did you know that angels were invented in Korea, da-ze??)

Wales spoke up, laughing. "HAHAHAHAH! Loegr! Ydych knpw pam Amerig am droi I mewn I ferch, dde? Felly, gall eich priodi! HAHAHAH ~! Hefyd. .. tra oedd yn ei. . . Yr wyf yn dymuno na fyddai byth yn gwneud Haggis Scotland byth eto ~!" (HAHAHAHAH! England! You know why America wants to turn into a girl, right? So he can marry you! HAHAHAH~! Also. .. while we're at it . . . I wish that Scotland would never make haggis ever again~!)

Everyone who knew what haggis was cheered at this point.

Ok~... First I'll do Japans wish, then Wales, then Korea's and then I'll probably never do America's because of Wales remark.

He chants magical enchantments in Maltese. "kina Mejju tikseb aktar Russja. Imbagħad b'xi turn into tfajla u jaqgħu fl-imħabba Korea. U mbagħad my brother qatt ma jagħmel haggis darb'oħra." (May china get over Russia. Then somehow turn into a girl and fall in love with Korea. And then my brother never makes haggis again.)

England looked at Korea and stomps his foot. "Angel's were not!! They were made by-"

America suddenly glomps England, who is still in Brittania angel form.  
" You might as well turn me into a girl, because you're gonna be mine either way!! Would you rather be the girl?" A perverted gleam resten in the corner of his eye.

England weighs the options for a moment. ".....ok". He decides, then he smacks America's head with his star wand. "There." He says, blushing and then looking away.

America looks at herself. She's shorter, and VERY feminine looking. "YAYYY!!" she glomps Iggy, who blushes even harder.

Korea picks up Japan, running towards China's house. "고마워요, 다 - 반지를!" (Thanks, da-ze!!)

___

He jumps through China's window, still holding Japan. When he came in, he saw that both China and Hong Kong were girls.

Japan blushes, staring at Hong Kong. "は - なぜも女の子が香港ですか？" (Why is Hong Kong a girl too?)  
"누가 드 페퀘노 ~이 무슨 상관이야! " (Who cares, da-ze!) Says Korea, who then glomps China.

韩国，我从来没有注意到这一点。 " China points at Korea's happy little strand of hair"。"但这样，你的头发总是可爱链移动。"。" She blushes."。它使你看起来那么漂亮，阿鲁。我知道！获取结婚〜！(Korea, I've never noticed this . . . but the way that your cute strand of hair always moves . . . it makes you look so handsome, aru. I know! Gets get married~!)

"좋아, 다 - 반지를 ~!" (Ok, da-ze~!) Korea was happy, and picked China up.

Japan was still staring at Hong Kong. "うーんハイテク香港？あなたは大丈夫ですか？" (Ummm hi Hong Kong? are you ok?) o////o

Hong Kong looks at Japan, then blushes.

^/////^

Hong Kong blushes harder, and then responds quietly. "是我。 。 。。" She glomps Japan, surprising him. "嘿，讓我們開始做什麼中國和韓國正在做的〜!" (yes I am.... HEY LETS DO WHAT CHINA AND KOREA ARE DOING~!)

Japan smiles, hugging tightly back. :確かに〜" (SURE~)

(ONE DAY LATER, AT THE WEDDING)

China looks up a Korea, smiling sweetly. She's in a Chinese wedding dress. 'He looks so handsome, Aru!' she thinks.

"我覺得比我在很長一段時間，韓國。謝謝！" (I'm better than I've felt in a long time, Korea. Thank you, aru!)

Korea is in a Korean grooms attire, and hugs China tightly to him. "트리플 사람 결혼 개시 열어!" (Let the triple wedding commence!) He kisses china's forehead.

Japan and Hong Kong smile happily and do wedding-y things.

Girl America and England dance together.

America steps on England's feet a few times.

A door slams open, and Belarus drags Lithuania behind her. "Зрабіць што четырехъядерные вяселля... "(Make that a quad wedding..)

Lithuania smiles. "Jei tai, ką norite ir brangūs". (If that is what you want, dear.)

The priest, Romano, speaks, scowling. He is in priestly garb.

"Ora, noi siamo qui uniti per il matrimonio di quad Inghilterra e in America. Cina e Corea. Giappone e Hong Kong. E ultimo ma non meno importante, Lituania e Bielorussia. Ora, prima che la coppia può baciare (Hungary: DO IT MÁR! ((DO IT ALREADY)) ), sono gli oggetti c'è qualcuno chi? (Now, we are joined here for the quad wedding of England and America. China and Korea. Japan and Hong Kong. And last but not least, Lithuania and Belarus. Now before the couples can kiss, are is there anyone who objects?)

Russia opens the doors, and the audience dramatically turns, gasping.. "Я, да" (I do, da)

Belarus pulls out a gun, with full intention to use it. ON RUSSIA!

Lithuania pleads to his (ALMOST) wife, "Please, no... that's mean, and your dress will be stained.."

England speaks up, blushing. "Wait!! I have a solution everyone will like!" England pulls out his wand, and hits Latvia on the head with it. "Have this little rabbit."

Latvia is girlified, and Russia blushes while looking at her. "Да, она будет делать довольно славно." (Yes, she will do quite nicely...)

She runs away, VERY SCARED, and he follows." KoLkOlKoLkOlKoLkOlKoLkOl..."

Romano scowls. "Back to the wedding, do you take your respective woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? And vice-fucking-versa?"

Estonia screams, "LAVTIAA! " and runs after them.

All the grooms speak at once. "I do!" Then they kiss teh brides.

Hungary squeals. "~HURRá!" :D (hurray)

Austria look at his wife, and tried to quiet her a bit. "Ungarn, bitte, beruhigen Sie sich". (Hungary, please, calm down.)

Hungary gasped, then took out a camera. " Mi van? Mindezek nemi hajlított yaoi ott isn't egy pillanatra elveszíteni!" (WHAT?! With all this gender bent yaoi there isn't a moment to lose!)

Austria sweatdrops. ( -_ -;)

Hungary takes many pictures, and has a great number of nosebleeds.

Korea hugs China lovingly. "Your breasts are always shall be mine!!"

She accepts this. "Aru!!" she kisses his chin, for he is too tall.

And they all live happily ever after~

_**50 YEARS LATER**_

**(1)**

Everyone is in one of those homes for old people . Russia sits the lounge.

Russia holds up his spork "P-Plannnt~ b-become ONEEEE with Russiaaaa " He says, stabbing the plant  
with le spork.

-In the living room place thing-

Sealand is now a nation~. "Hello my older bro's!"

Wales ahems.

"And dear sister~. How are you~? Me and my wife Lichtenstein are here to see you old people~ She's with Switzerland right now so I'm stuck with you guys~ HAHAHA~!!!

America throws her shoe at him.

-in the garden-

Lichtenstein walks up to her brother in the garden. "Hello brother!"

Switzerland has a toy gun, and is running around in circles. "SQURIL! I SHOOT YOU! RABBIT! I SHOOT YOU! SWISS CHEESE IS THE BEST! I LIEK (Swiss) CHOCOLATE!!"!

Lichtenstein smiles. " I'm glad that your happy, big brother."

Switzerland rolls around. "Damn skippy!"

-in the computer room-

Finland looks at Hana-Tamago. "S-Su-San . . . our dog's eating all the wires . . "

Sweden continues trying to fix the computer. "t'ts n'ce w'fe . . . " (That's nice, wife.)

-In the basement-

Prussia laughs to himself. "Kesesesesese! *cough* *cough* Ha! Me and my Giliberd (which is now a hen:3) and her army of chicks will rule the world! Kesesesesese! Then ore-sama will spread his awesomeness to all the people of the world! Kesesse!...."

-In the music room-

Austria is playing the piano (quite badly). " Hungary! S-See! I told you these hands were as good as they were 50 years ago!"

Hungary smiles, but is going deaf from listening to all the ** she watched throughout her life. "That's nice dear."

-In a bedroom-  
Greece can be seen covered in dust. He's been sleeping there for 3 years straight.  
"ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZ . . . ."

* * *

**I hope you like it!!**

**(1)Lion-beta knows they can't age, but it's a crack fic, so deal with it.**

**Half of it was made by me, and the other half by my awesome beta, AmberxLion26.**

**(I like to call her Lion-beta~)**

**Neither of us own Hetalia, ok?**

**She has such a crack mindset!! **

**Now how about some encouragement for her so she can start her own stories, people!!**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**

**(b ^ w^)b**

**And remember to stay awesome!**


End file.
